Today, you are a member of … The Definition

Dictionary Mike Kelley

So, Members, on this, the eleventh day of the eleventh month at what feels like the eleventh hour of global wtf, let’s make up some new words, and maybe redefine a few old ones, for use in this, our fresh dystopian world:

hypohydrophrenehebekinesis: Accelerated youth activism brought on by lack of water

doltrumps: Depression stemming from wrong or upended decisions; idiot asses (from dolt and rumps)

schizodialectical establishmentarianism:  Voting against institutions by voting into institutions those that seek to dismantle said institutions, motivated by hopes that institutions become better

muzzyfarrago math: anti-science statistics

Electoral College: trump card

See Members? There’s always a robust way to define what’s new and what’s the fuck. Words are pretty bitchen. Be that as it may, this week, don’t let the doublespeak dull the blade of your battle axe.

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