Today, you are a member of… 2012: The Year of Abstract Hat

Being that 2012 is both a leap year and the commemorative year of that great mind of cryptoanalysis and algorithms, Alan Turing, it’s time you get some head hovercraft of the abstract persuasion, Members. With such haberdashery, you’ll spend less time being uselessly puzzled by straining to visualize problems that have no place in two or three dimensions, and more time just figuring it the fuck out. As such, your style will be exactly that of Richard Feynman, who, after explaining the conservation of energy using the example of a mother algebraically tracking the blocks of a wiley child, waxed that “the most remarkable aspect that must be abstracted from this picture is that there are no blocks.” And like Kurt Godel – the Brainiac of any mathematical universe – you will not be bothered one scintilla in 2012 by the fact that no system can be both complete and consistent. The maths are in, Members and even though in 2012 your forehead finery won’t solve any absolute truths, it will, in the best Ludwig Wittgenstein fashion, invent them.

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