Today, you are a member of… Apto Magus

You know Members, Optimus Prime is just a Kenworth K100 cab-over-truck. So like so many wise New Yorkers with shrinks, he must have a mechanic and a preference between STP and Valvoline. He must detest beltway traffic. He undoubtedly worries about the coming global gas crisis. To think about such things does nothing to tend to his glory as leader of the Autobots and failsafe nemisis to Megatron. But best first doesn’t necessarily mean skillfully adaptive. So this week, if you have the choice, don’t take the mantle of leadership unless it’s of a wily ilk that doesn’t involve transforming into an bulked-out roadhog to accomplish feats of magnifience.

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