Today, you are a member of… Come to Jesus Talks

Here’s the thing about ‘come to jesus talks,’ Members: They seem a bit ass-backwards. If someone is really trying to convince you of how bitchin that than which nothing is greater, why talk? Why not put a little miracle action in there like maybe offering to zombify one of your dead loved ones are making beer appear at the embarassingly understocked party? Beyond that, talking is really language and language is just this awesome trick we hairless primates evolved to do with our larnyx in order to impress hot prospects and provide focus for meta-hobby distractions like the science of linguistics and the philosophy of semiotics. Pointing such a thing out is risky; more than a few jeezophiliacs get super insulted when you use the E word (yes, not all, but who wants to make the undazzling absence of miracles more annoying by also provoking unbaffling waves sanctimoniousness?). So this week, though the herd might be calling, best instead to heed the bastardized advice of William S. Burroughs and say, “piss off Satan, and don’t take me for dumber than I look…Watch whose words you pick up.”

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