Today, you are a member of… Cue the Music

Rustic bores. Personages behaving all whack. The overemoting spasmodicness of pantomimers. Stephen King’s mid 1980s read. Oneseyed harlequins and their sanctamonious Ren Fair faux. Grotesquely jovial red-haired mascots shilling Big Agriculture. Face-painted, phobia-inducing sideshow acts. The exaggerated importance of dandified attention suckers. There are plenty of reasons to hate clowns, Members. They are scary, sent in, and quite often bastardized further into those jackass juggalos. And this week, though you’ll find a lot of them strewn in your path, like evidence of a dog who decided to eat the crayons, you’ll know when it’s time to get the hell out of the circus tent.

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