Today, you are a member of… Fool Aid

The important thing to remember about Kool-Aid, Members, is back when Nebraskan Edwin Perkins invented it in the late 1920s, it was called Fruit Smack. And this week, there is no shortage of bossy fruit salads busting through your walls, getting in your face and demanding that you Drink It. You are to do no such thing, of course. Who needs unwieldy, corporatized mascots telling you what to do? No, your mission is to look past the creepy 1970s shades, lasar deep into their beady eyes, and tell them firmly, Eat Me. Your finest diplomacy will be required and you’ll have to resist the taunts of the army of zombies that have already consumed the madness but if you hold fast, you’ll avoid falling down someone else’s rabbit hole and quench your thirst for cool sans substitutes.

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