Today, you are a member of… Happy Keister

keisterYour ass can’t speak (except in some very, very funny ways) nor can it friend you on Facebook, so consider this a message from your lower gravitational field. Your very own gluteus maximus is wondering why the hell you’re not making like a personal savior and rising from the dead. Sure, sitting around is fine for the opera, but life isn’t all fat ladies singing and velvet theater seats. Evolutionarily speaking, it’s about running. And part of what set our ancestral Homo Erectus apart from the merely bipedal Australopithicus is that fine set muscles you got wrapped around your pelvis that make us Homo Sapiens capable of hot footing. So this week, whether for reasons religious, atheistic, scientific, or cultural, heed the Godfather of Soul: Get up offa that thing and dance til you feel better. Because you can’t stay dead forever.

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