Today, you are a member of… Hello Cleveland

It’s easy, Members, with the crazy pants that Cleveland will be putting on this week in the form of the Republican National Convention, to be concerned about the city on the lake. With the vortex of protesters, extra law enforcement personnel, terrible hair and bombast in the new gunfire reality, one might be inclined to anticipate things getting bad. But here’s the thing: Cleveland has seen way worse (burning rivers, corrupt administrations, extreme poverty and segregation) and has produced vast greatness (Alvin Ayler, Screaming Jay Hawkins, Pere Ubu). So a word to the wise to the incoming nutters: this town was made from glaciers and is ready to rock. And whatever crooked runnings dished out by politics will be met with the Cuyahoga’s even more epic and eternal bendings.

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