Today, you are a member of… Hot Pants

Wouldn’t it be great, Members, to have your own army of sumo wrestlers available at your command to do the grappling for you? Whether it be your conscience, your subconscious, your superego, ego, or id, there’s no shortage of intrapsyche basho events springing forth from your bean, posing challenges galore. So why not enlist a little heft to help with the head demons? Call on the almighty like “Dancing Tea” Mainoumi – the shortest yokozuna rank sumo who made the height requirment by getting a 4 centimeter implant in his head, relying thereafter on speed rather than mass. Or Wakanohana Kanji & Takanohana Kanji, the famed Hanada brothers who at the height of their careers were so thrilling they ushered in the eponymous “Waka Taka Boom” Era of Sumo. Or Futauyama who won 69 consecutive bouts starting in 1936. Point is, everyone needs backup here and again, so draw from the rich history of the competitive full contact masters and let their uwatenage, mawashi, and yori-kiri techniques wrassle what needs reckoning with.

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