If the 1970s taught us any thing it’s sex sells. The ’80s: money matters. The 90s? Computers boom. And here in the Oughts there is one message coming through louder than a drunk opera singer at karaoke: fear figures. Such is the case when thinking and intelligence become Public Enemy Number One. Ergo, dear members, this week you do not just have a membership update; you have a mission, a full on command to put the eek back in geek. Maraud around in a t-shirt logoed with READ OR DIE. Clandestinely send some beloved antireader in your life a subscription to the New York Times. Speak only in Shakespeare quotes if someone starts shit. Go on Euphemism Patrol with a bullhorn and some serious attitude about platitude. And even if what Dorothy Parker said is true – you can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think – it doesn’t mean you can’t be an intelliterrorist badass with your leading.