Today, you are a member of… Laughing Out Loud

xrayrontHey members, don’t let TSA employees hog that most saucy of superpower, X-Ray Vision. Get clad in some special specs and protect the free world from inanity, already. And what better time to get oracle sight than a week that features both the 164th birthday of Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen, the discoverer of X-Rays, and April Fools Day, twenty-four hours that elevate premeditated piffle to international holiday status? With said superpower eyes, you’ll see that everyday things can be a gut-splitting riot on their own. So before you start believing spaghetti grows on trees or that Martians are invading New Jersey or that Burger Kind makes a left-handed whopper, get goggled and laugh at the true stuff. Consider: your phone book has a listing for a person named Alfred E. Newman; the phrase ‘nudie mag,’ though incredibly adolescent, rolls off the tongue in a fun sort of way; Billy Bob Thorton is quoted admitting his fear of antique furniture; there are whole songs about potatoes; waffles.

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