Today, you are a member of… Muscle Car Mouth

Unlike Prescriptivists who think they can improve things by the singular power of their judging (whatevs) and, in contrast to the Descriptivists, who think academic reverie is relevent (the response, It’s fascinating!!! is, at root, inane), you, dear members, are charged with carrying out the three tenets of Guerrilla Gadsmanship. First: Nothing is amaaaaaaaazing. Second, don’t be an ass; you’re not James Joyce, so use some fucking punctuation. And Third: heed the Strunk and White imperative: Be Concise! And yes, William Safire won’t want to stick his tongue down your throat (no small blessing) and no, “for us, by us” will not be for you (and certainly, even if it is, not in every instance) but, just like Motor Mouth Mabel, what muscle car mouth will get you is electric company and speed of sound oration.

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