Today, you are a member of… My Uterus Wants to Kill You

Did you know Members that, if you are one to believe the freakshow, there is a bandit in our bodies. An outlaw so feared that it must be contained, dead or alive. A heathen so outrageous in its flauting of morality that even those who don’t have one, get apoplectic if the most mininmal of freedoms is bestowed on it, however momentarily. It’s a fiend that takes over all organs, and makes them do it’s bidding, is hidden, mysterious, and absolutely wanton in its lawlessness. Yes, that’s right members. It’s THE UTERUS. Now, contrary to what all the headless chickens are saying, THE UTERUS is no such criminal. Really, it’s just deflated balloon-looking thing that kind of hangs out, and, if not needed, does a little cleaning once a month and then goes back to doing nothing. Also, contrary to all the hype you’ve heard since the first moment you came out of one, you don’t have to ever use it. Really. Maybe, if there was some extinction level event, but at this point, seriously, consider a life without going through that phase where whatever comes out of it is all you can facebook about. Just keep it well maintained by funding those programs that do such things at low cost. And for those who don’t have one but want to legislate the shit out of it, perhaps this week is a good time for the rest of us to encourage Annie to get her gun and lay down some lawlessness bandit style.

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