Today, you are a member of… Protective Headgear

Wouldn’t it be great, Members, if this week you found yourself guarded by two Las Vegas showgirls, armed with pointy dancing shoes and headdresses that can keep the more annoying of party guests at a safe distance. Their buff-tone strutting legs could deliver a round house kick with a smile to whomever can’t name all the presidents and their boas could keep you warm during the coldest of martinis. Best of all, as more than just armcandy, these fabulous ladies and fancy gents would more likely than not have sage advice as to how to hold your head up while balancing the most unwieldy of social definitions.

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