Today, you are a member of… Telephony as Oracle

Let’s talk technology, members – that bellweather of all things homo sapien progressiva. In particular – let’s talk talk machines and the ilk of which their formats are comprised. Ever since 1919, we had the rotary phone – an Amelia Earhart-like mechanism, beautiful in all its glidey pulses but prone to losing us along the way with its round and round spinning. 1963 gave us the Nurse Rachet – a cold, efficient dual-tone multifrequency signal based on touchtone pushing that tended to box us in and was mostly fictitious as to exactly how good it was for us. Post 1991, our prestidigitation has lost all connection with analog hi-fidelity, left only with a Snooki-esque surface touchscreens run by Subscriber Identity Modules (SIM Cards) that soon will lose all need for digits entirely, what with Apple being granted a plethora of patents for facial recognition-based interfaces last month. The 9-2-1 oracular lesson for 8-10-12 being: this week, feel the pulse, tone up and face off but make sure you got something to say in the first place.

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