Today, you are a member of … The Old West
You know what happened in ‘The Old West’ this week, Members? Jesse James got shot by a man named Robert Ford. You know what happened to that guy? He got shot by a dude named Edward Capehart O’Kelley, who was goaded on by a con man named Soapy Smith. You know what happened to Mr. O’Kelley and Mr. Smith, respectively? Shot. The former by a police officer named Joe Burnett and the latter by vigilante named Frank Reid. Frank was shot by Soapy. That Police Officer? Stroked out later in life but buried in the same cemetery as Mr. O’Kelley. Point being, the Old West metaphor is some bullshit used to make a period marked by lawlessness, prejudice, and high, violent mortality rates seem like a good story. This week, don’t let the myth get in your eye.
