‘We’re’ is to ‘Garbage Men’ as ‘Fuck’ is to ‘Lettuce’, Members. Make sense? Probably not. Despite their reputation as a language tool for making explicit, or at least, clarifying, comparative relationships, similes require the simile-er and simile-e to be on somewhat common ground. And there is often vast swaths of uncommon ground theses days. It’s new norm, like Instagram, drones, and food based in nonfood product. But really, to remedy such a chasm, one need only plot where your is is compared to where their as is at, and recalibrate accordingly. Once such a graph is created and gets eyeballs on it, comparative relationships galore! This week, your diplomacy will only be readily apparent if you venture out, past the automated belief that the uncommon is less common than the common, and figure out the Euclidean space where is and as meet.