Figuring out if (our) life forms can be on Mars has been on the table since August of 2012, Members. But now the Rover fantastic has found water, though not the Evian kind. It’s wrapped up in polar ice zones and down in that red soil dust also, packaged pretty with a bit of toxicity to the human thyroid called Perchlorate. So in order for us and our tweeting thumbs to drive our SUVs past our Educated and onto our Mother, all energy usually put into Christmas might be better expended on making up exo-eco-h2o extraction methods. Point is, there ain’t no pagentry unless somebody builds a stage, so leave your best alien silver lamé suit for later and reaquaint yourself with our 2.6 million year old friends: tools.

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